Tag Archives: servant leadership

Life Size Leadership

LifeSize

“I want to be the leader!” called out a little girl as she got on her bike. “I want to be the leader!” yelled another girl. As the group of young kids headed off on another adventure I stood there pondering this passionate display of leadership that was so incredibly full of life. And I wondered why it shrinks as we get older.

How big is leadership? It’s bigger than even youthful exuberance and confidence. It’s as big as life. Because leadership is life. We are born with an innate desire for leadership that comes from the basic instinct to adapt and grow and become.

But then we begin to stuff it into organizational boxes and build walls around it. Pretty soon the walls restrict leadership to a select chosen few and the sign on the door reads, “Managers only.” For all the unchosen, “I want to be a  leader!” is soon replaced with “It’s not my job,” “I don’t have the authority,” or “Why doesn’t somebody do something?”

How do we take down these walls and bring leadership back to life?

Leadership is bigger than management. When you talk about management, call it management, don’t call it leadership. Down comes a wall. When you talk about really good management, call it good management, don’t call it leadership. Down comes a wall. When you talk about upper management, call it upper management or executive management, don’t call it leadership. Down comes a wall. Talk about how important it is for managers to be leaders but don’t suggest that only managers can be leaders. Down comes a wall.

Leadership is bigger than business. Talk about the role of leadership in business. But don’t suggest, intentionally or unintentionally, that leadership happens only in the context of running a business. Running a business is management, and it should be guided by good leadership. Leadership happens in boardrooms, and it happens at dinner tables and on playgrounds and at checkout lines. A leadership discussion can be about profits, or it can be about dreams or bullies or heartbreak or 10 pm curfews or what we’re going to do next. Don’t teach leadership as an occupational skill in business school, teach it as a life skill in kindergarten. Talk about leadership in the full context of life and walls start falling down all over the place.

Leadership is bigger than our boxes and walls. Fascinating things happen when we take down the walls we have built around leadership and open it up to everyone. People grow. Their eyes are opened to see they have the permission and ability and responsibility to lead. Their hearts are opened to the unique purpose they have to serve.

Managers are set free to be the leaders they are truly meant to be. Youth are no longer fettered with the label of “future leaders” and they live as leaders today. Citizens take a stand for justice because it is influence, not authority, that leads real lasting change. Groups of people who by their race or gender or other physical characteristics have often found themselves on the outside come to see that they are leaders by their own choice.

Service, influence, relationship, trust, community, vision  – this is the stuff of leadership. This is the stuff of life.

Let’s stop making leadership so much smaller than it really is. Let’s exuberantly declare, “I want to be a leader!” Let each and every single one of us boldly claim, “I am a leader!” Let’s set leadership free to be life size.

LifeSizeLeadership

Our Common Ground – Ten Principles for an Open Dialogue

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It is difficult to have an open dialogue when we are wrapped up in a controversial issue. But even when we don’t agree on the issue, by agreeing to a few basic principles we can come together on common ground for a meaningful dialogue.

Our Common Ground
Ten Principles for an Open Dialogue

Agreement is not a prerequisite for respect.
We each walk our own path to come to common ground.
We are all at once both broken & brilliant.
Compassion for our brokenness brings us to common ground.
Passion for our brilliance brings us to higher ground.
Every single person matters.
No one of us can see the entire picture. It is only by our collective perspectives that we can begin to see and understand.
I cannot change you.
I can only inform and influence. For that to happen there must be an open door.
I don’t win by defeating you.
No one becomes more from someone else becoming less. We are in this together.
Do not speak from anger, speak from what makes you angry.
In your words and actions reflect who you are and respect who they are.
There is no contradiction in facts.
If contradiction exists it is in our understanding of the facts.
Selective facts are not facts.
A fact is a thread woven into the overall story of our world. To pull out a single thread only weakens the fabric.
The end goal is not to find an answer, it is to deepen understanding.
When together we gain a deeper understanding of the issue at hand then each can make better choices for the good of all.
On the path forward sometimes I will lead, sometimes I will follow, always I will serve.
It is service that keeps us together. If we have not come to a place where we can serve each other, then we must ask a different question and begin again.

CRANK UP THE JUDGEMENT! – From Mindfulness to Leadership

RainGrass“What a lousy day,” says the golfer.
“What a great day,” says the greenkeeper.
“It’s raining,” says mindfulness.

Much has been written about mindfulness and leadership. Yet in all that I have read there is an element that is lacking or missing altogether that is key in moving from mindfulness to leadership. And so I join the throng to offer another perspective.

 

 

Intentional and objective awareness

“Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way;
On purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.”
Jon Kabat-Zinn

One of the keys in this classic definition of mindfulness is intentional awareness. Another key is to be nonjudgmental. Mindfulness creates for a leader an intentional and objective awareness of the world as it is, seeing the current situation unfettered by perceptions and expectations.  This is critical because you can’t get to where you want to go if you don’t have a good understanding of where you’re starting from. The journey begins with being aware and present in the moment.

“The practice of mindfulness is, at its essence,
making the effort to be fully present
with what we’re doing or whom we’re with right now.”
Matt Tenney

A keen sense of situational awareness and self-awareness also helps you see where your gifts match up with the needs of the world about you, presenting opportunities to serve. This service lays the foundation for leadership. Service builds trust. Trust builds leadership.

Crank up the judgement!

That brings us to the piece that I feel is the missing link. In order to move from mindfulness to leadership you have to come to a point where you turn the judgement back on AND CRANK IT UP! If you feel uncomfortable with the word judgement use the term assessment. However you look at it, add your personal perspective to your mindful observations by beginning to question the current situation.

How does the situation align with your beliefs and values? What about the beliefs and values of others involved? What do you feel about it? What do you think about it? What about it makes you excited, scared, curious, confused? What about this situation is beneficial or harmful or challenging to me or to others around me? What about the current situation should be preserved or changed? Is the current situation as good as it needs to be or should it be improved upon? Can it be improved upon?

Reflecting then on these kinds of questions opens one’s eyes to opportunities to serve and opportunities to lead. If there is indeed an opportunity to lead ask yourself if you’re the one that should take the lead or if you should lift up someone else and follow their lead. If this is your time to lead then begin to articulate a vision of how things can be.

Having a keen awareness of what is and a powerful vision of what can be – Lead On!

Mindfulness one rainy day

Now imagine the golfer and the greenkeeper discover mindfulness. One rainy day they sit down together in the clubhouse and share a pot of coffee. They talk about the weather, accepting it for what it is. Then they discuss the opportunities offered by such a day and how to make the most of it. From that conversation comes a new program. On days when the weather is too inclement to be out on the course golfers can help out in the shop. Even if they’re not chasing the ball into a hole they can still be at the golf course, and they develop a sense of ownership. For the greenkeeper it’s a chance to get to know the golfers better and learn what they would like to see on the course. A mindful moment can lead to great things.

Mindfulness teaches me what is
that I may serve.
Reflection teaches me what can be
that I may lead.

 

 Image courtesy of iamharin at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Diversity and the Servant Leader

VarietyA characteristic we all share is that each of is different. Diversity is the life reality of who we are as a collection of unique individuals. This reality presents challenges but also immense opportunities. A Servant Leader is well equipped to address the challenges and to build on the opportunities, particularly in three key areas.

Equality

A great way to serve someone is to take down a wall that stands in their way and then turn those blocks to stepping stones. Too often our differences are used to stuff people into boxes and behind labels that senselessly keep them from living the life they are meant to live. A Servant Leader believes that everyone should have an equal opportunity to live into the fullness of who they are as a splendidly unique individual. That which makes a person unique is exactly what the world needs, so if they aren’t allowed to be who they are the whole world suffers. A Servant Leader calls out any discrimination, whether it’s based on readily discernible physical characteristics or more subtle traits, and brings the person forward where they can shine.

Enrichment

Diversity is also important for teams. There is no need to go looking for diversity, it’s everywhere. If you put any two people together you have diversity, so in a team it’s a matter of recognizing the diversity that exists and determining whether you have the elements of diversity necessary for the team to achieve the goal at hand. By focusing first on service to the person the Servant Leader is able to understand each individual on a team and what unique contribution they have to offer. And while allowing each individual to be present on the team as they are the Servant Leader binds the team by bringing them together around a shared story of where they are and where they are going.  The Servant Leader does not lose sight of the importance of individual contribution because they know that the primary objective of any team is the growth of each individual, and in this the team as a whole is enriched.

Leadership

Diversity is also vital to leadership itself. The better you understand our differences, and see the unique contribution that you yourself have to make, the better equipped you are to serve and to lead.

And this is a time that is calling out for Servant Leaders to take a strong lead in embracing diversity. Sadly there are many well intended efforts these days to squelch and hide our differences. The thought is that sameness brings about equality. But the only way it creates equality is that everyone loses. And fear that one person’s uniqueness might offend another person has led to policies that prohibit people from demonstrating that which makes them who they are. This is done out of respect for the potentially offended person but it is in fact a great disrespect to the one who has had their lines blurred. The Servant Leader begins with respect for the individual, as they are, even when they disagree. Yes, even when offended by the actions of another the Servant Leader still respects the person. A Servant Leader creates a culture of service where people are free to reflect who they are and open to respect who others are. We can’t lead people into the fullness of who they can be tomorrow if they don’t even know who they are today.

Find strength in common ground
and energy in diversity.

 Image courtesy of jk1991 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

My Three Leadership Values

ThreeSteps“What are your top three leadership core values?” It was a thought provoking question and responding to it was a challenge. Tal Shnall posted the question on Facebook and tagged a group of us. Thank you, Tal, for the question.

Part of the challenge for me was how it was worded. I had often thought about my personal values and the effect they have on my leadership. But the phrase “leadership core values” put a twist on the question. I had never thought of values specific to leadership.

Another challenge was articulating just three values in a concise enough manner to fit a Facebook comment. Had I been asked to spend the next two hours expounding on all my favorite characteristics of good leadership I could have dived right in. But to narrow it to only three core values that underpin the rest?

Then there was a challenge I issued to myself, to not just list three values but to add a sentence or two for each to clarify the value and explain how I see them relating to each other. And again to be able to do that in a concise and clear way.

I had to wrestle with it a bit, but I did manage to come up with a list, and here they are.

My Three Leadership Values

  1. The innate worth of the individual (including ourselves). Each and every person matters, always.
  2. The importance of service as a response to individual worth & as the foundation of leadership.
  3. The freedom of everyone to lead. To deny anyone, intentionally or not, their freedom to lead is a failure to recognize their individual worth and a disservice to the individual.

I pass the question along to you. “What are your top three leadership core values?”

 

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles isolated images at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Vertical Lines

VerticalLinesWe like to live in a black and white world with clear delineation between what is good and what is bad. Everybody goes onto either a nice list or a naughty list. And so we draw vertical lines on our world. We put the bad people on the other side of the line and the good people we collect on our side. And we keep drawing vertical lines until those lines become fences and walls and bars.

The truth though is that the line between good and bad is a horizontal line. And it runs through the heart of every human being. Each and every one of us is at once darkness and brilliance. This is human nature and it is all part of who we are. Our beliefs and values are important for they determine which part of us we live out in our day-to-day actions.

There are people whose beliefs conflict with the beliefs of others, and whose values do not respect the values of others. There are those who have never known anything but darkness in their life and they don’t see their own light or they just don’t know how to do anything that reflects their better nature. The actions of these people typically have a detrimental effect on those whose lives they touch, either intentionally or unintentionally.

These are the people that we tend to label as the “bad” people and we put them on the other side of the vertical line. We work hard to separate and exclude them. But this disregards the true situation at hand which muddles our efforts towards improvement. We absolutely must call out actions that do not serve the well being of society and the people behind those actions need to be held accountable. But we can’t do that effectively by pushing them off to the other side of our vertical line. We must stand with them at the horizontal line that lies between our humanness and our humanity.

As leaders there is something to be said for surrounding ourselves with positive people. We need to have a healthy and supportive environment. And if we carefully choose to focus our leadership on those who are most agreeable to us it will make our journey more pleasant and will increase the likelihood that we will get where we want to go.

But then we have to ask ourselves, did I leave behind those who needed the journey the most? Did I disregard a person because they are one of “them” when in fact they are a lot like me? Did I deny someone their greatest opportunity simply because they annoy me? Did I miss out on an opportunity to live out my better nature in service to them?

GraceGratitude

HorizontalLine

The Perils of Competitive Conformity

StandOutIt’s amazing how often we try to stand out from everyone else by fitting in better than anyone else. The title of champion or victor is given to the one who does what many others do, just better or faster or more often. We want to show others that we’re like them by doing what they do and at the same time display our uniqueness by demonstrating our superior skills.

There’s a danger however with fitting in. Fitting in provides great soil for the seeds of mediocrity but poor conditions for true excellence to sprout. If you’re doing what others are doing simply for the sake of doing what others are doing then what you’re doing isn’t doing much even if you’re doing it better than all the others are doing. Okay, so you’re probably not counting to see if that sentence was 140 characters or less. (It’s 190 by the way and that’s without a hashtag or handle so save the Tweet.) Let me explain it another way.

It’s good to have a sense of belonging in a community but fitting in is not required. And doing well at what others are doing is perfectly fine if it provides the following.

  • Authenticity – Does what you are doing authentically reflect who you are? Life is first and foremost about who we are and what we do needs to flow from the best of who we are. When our actions give others a true sense of our identity it builds trust and relationship, which in turn helps to build leadership.
  • Growth – Does what you are doing help you to grow? Do you gain a clearer self understanding? Does it move you towards a personal vision? Is your focus not on being better than them but on becoming more than you were?
  • Service – Does what you are doing serve others? Does it help them to grow as individuals? Does it bring us together as a community? Rather than trying to best them are you working to better them?
  • Inspiration – Does what you are doing inspire others to do their best at what they do? Rather than simply challenging others to beat you are you challenging them to be authentic, grow, serve and inspire?

Now if your calling and purpose takes you down a whole new path, doing what no one else has done – AWESOME!  Don’t worry about fitting in. There’s one thing that nobody in this world can ever do better than you and that is to be you. Charge down the path, throw yourself into the fray and lead on!

There’s one other aspect I want to mention regarding standing out by fitting in.  This problem often shows up in typical performance review systems where everyone is graded on a standard set of criteria. The unintended but clear message is this – “Do what everyone else is doing but do it better than them.” Consider the effects of that message. What does that do for collaboration? What does that do for innovation? What does that do for bringing yourself to your work? Hmmm. Instead of trying to engage people in the organization by getting them to fit it, let’s engage the organization in the individual and let each person be there incredible, brilliant self.  Take the lead and show them how it’s done by working to express yourself rather trying to impress them.

Reach higher than superior mediocrity.
Stand out by standing strong in who you are and
living that out in day-to-day magnificence!

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

So that …

May 28th is World Hunger Day, a day to raise awareness of hunger issues. Every day is a day to do something about it. An amazing organization that is doing incredible work to address world hunger is Feed My Starving Children, headquartered in Coon Rapids, Minnesota. Over a million volunteers a year in the US pack meals that are sent around the world to feed starving children. This evening I participated in a packing event at the Coon Rapids facility. In an hour and a half about 100 of us packed 26,568 meals that are headed to Honduras.
In addition to having a huge impact on world hunger, Feed My Starving Children is also an outstanding model of servant leadership. One aspect in particular they demonstrate well is what it means to truly serve. Service is often spoken of as simply helping others or doing something nice for them, but service goes deeper than that. When someone grows as a person as a result of our authentic actions we are truly serving.

Helping a child provides them a meal. Serving a child also provides them hope.

One way to distinguish helping from serving is with two little words – “so that.” Those words can help assure that our actions are rooted in purpose, vision and mission.

Service feeds a hungry child so that …

  • … so that they can live.
  • … so that they can learn.
  • … so that they can grow and be productive.
  • … so that they can experience the beauty of their world.
  • … so that they can serve.
  • … so that they can lead.

The FMSC model also benefits the volunteers & staff who prepare and pack the meals.
Service provides opportunities to volunteers and staff so that…

  • … so that they gain a better understanding of who they are.
  • … so that they feel good about who they are.
  • … so that they gain more confidence in their ability to make a difference.
  • … so that they can grow as leaders.

Consider the work you do to serve. Are you simply helping or are you truly serving? If you are helping that’s great. I am definitely not saying that helping is wrong. Just be careful however that your helping isn’t actually a disservice. I do challenge you though to go deeper and truly serve. Be clear on your purpose. Take time to reflect on how you would finish this statement, “I am doing this so that …”

Feed My Starving Children is clear on their “so that.” And what a difference their service makes.

Service, Trust, Leadership and a Journey

EYLBook1 A significant goal was reached on April 20th. Sixteen of us in an amazing on-line collaboration published the new book –

Energize Your Leadership.
Discover. Ignite. Break through.

But more than a goal on a project, this was a milestone on a journey, a journey that began a little over two years ago for me. After we initially laid out a structure for the book each of us had a tentative topic for our own chapter. My topic was servant leadership. We were advised to not start writing until the structure was finalized and we had our official topics. But with my situation I felt a need to get a jump on the assignment and so I started to write.

The project hit a point where it needed to reboot.  After the book plan was restructured I had a new tentative topic – authenticity. Again we were told to wait, again I started to write.

Then the final assignments came out and my new topic was – trust. Ugh. Now we were given the go ahead to write but I struggled to see how trust energizes leadership. Trust doesn’t really energize leadership, it’s the very foundation of leadership. If you’re lacking trust you don’t have un-energized leadership, you have no leadership at all.

I completed my chapter on trust and submitted it to the core team. This group of five of the authors had the daunting task of making sure that all 16 chapters fit together as a cohesive book while retaining the unique nature of each chapter. To no surprise they came back to me with a number of suggested modifications to my chapter. I rewrote my chapter using their ideas and new ideas of my own, and I resubmitted it to the team.

Karin Hurt from the core team was the content coach for our section of the book and she was masterful at providing feedback with honesty and grace. In a wonderful conversation with her she told me that my chapter was better, but it still wasn’t working for her. She added, “What if you incorporate servant leadership into your chapter? I know you have a passion around servant leadership.” “Funny you should say that,” I told her, “that was my original topic.”

So again I began to rewrite my chapter, this time on the topic of trust in the context of servant leadership. As I was doing so there was a moment of epiphany. I have studied servant leadership for some time and have read the writings of Robert Greenleaf. I knew well that a servant leader is servant first and leadership flows from service. But I had struggled to fully understand exactly how it is that service connects to leadership. As I was writing it dawned on me that the key is trust.

Service builds trust. Trust builds leadership.

Now I understood. This is how service grows into energized leadership. We don’t need to muster up to high standards of expectations in order to become a leader. Rather it starts with bringing our unique self to the world in service to all. In authentic service we build trust. And then in trust we build leadership. This became my central message.

Once again I sent my chapter to the core team. It was accepted and passed along to the editor. When I received it back from the editor she suggested some small modifications. One change was the topic which now was simply servant leadership. Trust was still very much a part of the chapter but incorporating her suggestions and a couple small changes of my own the focus became servant leadership.

Though my topic ended up back where it started, had it not been for the journey that took me hither and yon and challenged me I would not have gained this insight and new understanding. The obstacles that threaten to drain us can actually energize us and become stepping stones to new heights.

What a journey it has been and continues to be. My gratitude goes to the marvelous leaders with whom I have traveled. A special thank you to the core team of LaRae Quy, Terri Klass, Karin Hurt, Alli Polin and Chery Gegelman.the16authorsI hesitate to say that publication of the book means the completion of our project, because our goal was never simply to write a book. We are joined in a concern for the lack of energy we see in leaders around us. We share a vision that people will discover the energy to lead, ignite the passion of their purpose and break through the challenges they face.  Whatever direction the project may take from here the journey definitely goes on.

If you are struggling to find the energy you need to lead with passion and purpose, find a copy of the book and c’mon in. Let us share with you the struggles we have faced and the lessons we learned. Each of the 16 chapters has its own topic, its own story, its own insights and I believe you will find a message that speaks to you.  For more information go to www.EnergizeYourLeadership.net. To obtain a copy go to Amazon.com, the link here in the United States is www.amazon.com/Energize-Your-Leadership-Discover-Through/dp/1507894910. Stay energized & lead on!

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Energize Your Leadership!

Energize Your Leadership!As a leader, are you feeling burnt out, done in, used up, worn down, spread too thin in the thick of it all? You are certainly not alone. A group of 16 of us became concerned by how many leaders are struggling to find the energy they need to lead, and we collaborated online to address the situation. We have written a book to share stories from our own leadership journeys, the struggles we have faced and the lessons we learned. Energize Your Leadership is now available on Amazon. For more information go to EnergizeYourLeadership.net

Our hope is that in the book you will find a message you can relate to, and that you will be inspired and energized. But more importantly we have designed the book to help you find energy within yourself, for that is where your greatest source of energy lies.

For me personally the area of greatest concern is servant leadership. It saddens me to see servant leaders who think they’re supposed to be exhausted, that somehow this is a requirement for servant leadership. It’s not. No one becomes more from someone else becoming less. Servant leadership is enriching and ENERGIZING!

Whether you are seeking to energize your own leadership, want to help a friend who is feeling drained or are just looking to give your leadership a boost, I invite you to read the book. You can read it from beginning to end or you can select a topic of interest to you and start there, either way works. And if you have any thoughts to share we would love to hear from you. Be energized and lead on!

EYL AuthorsThe authors are LaRae Quy, Alli Polin, Carol Dougherty, Karin Hurt, Chery Gegelman, Terri Klass, Cynthia Bazin, John Thurlbeck, Jon Mertz, Lalita Raman, Hoda Maalouf, Susan Mazza, Barry Smith, Scott Mabry, Tony Vengrove, Daniel Buhr. It is an honor and a blessing to work with this group of outstanding leaders.